Not sure how it happened so fast, but I am turning another year older on Sunday. Wow! It is unbelievable how quickly the days and weeks and months fly by and cumulate into another year. Yes mom, you were so right. Time speeds up as we get older and as the pace gets accelerated, years fly by faster and faster.
I really was just in college. Wasn't I? Had to have been. But when I look at the calendar, it shows me that it was almost 22 years ago. Holy Cow! I graduated in 1987 and if I were to think of the graduating class 22 prior to that.... say 1965.... I would have thought that they were old. But I still feel like I did back at graduation. Only... I think I am a bit wiser and a bit more confident. Why couldn't I have this confidence back in high school and college. It really would have made things a lot easier back then. Oh well... my philosophy is "No regrets".
So... I can truly look fondly back at those days and smile. I loved my time in school, but I am so much more content nowadays. I am so much more able to be everything that I want to be. Compassionate, caring, a good listener, patient, objective, sensitive and committed. No... I'm not perfect..not even close. I don't want to be perfect. I think it is an unattainable and unrealistic goal. But, life has taught me well and I anxiously await the next 44 years. Though I hope they don't come about as fast as these past 22 years have jumped at me.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Sunday mornings can't be beat
Incredible...It's a Sunday morning and we are actually at home. No hockey game to drive to. No band concert to attend. We are free to read the Sunday paper, relax by the window with the warm sun shining in and plan out our day.
It actually is on its way to warmer temperatures... (Wow...we made it above freezing), and I for one can't wait. Here in Wisconsin, we literally got dumped on with record breaking snow in December. Then the new year hit and we were in a deep freeze throughout January and into February. It was so cold most of the time that when we did finally hit 25 degrees, I actually contemplated whether or not I needed a coat. Pretty sad. We are so cooped up in our houses, that it is so refreshing to be able to go into the fresh air and not freeze to the ground. This winter I have found myself in a constant state of shiver and I hate it.
Why live here then??? Good question. I guess because I grew up in the Midwest and my family is all around here, the kids are in wonderful schools and other than the freezing temps, I do love it. Great people, beautiful area and Walt Disney World is always just a short plane ride away. :-)
Well...off to see what J and K are fighting about.
The peacefulness never lasts long.
It actually is on its way to warmer temperatures... (Wow...we made it above freezing), and I for one can't wait. Here in Wisconsin, we literally got dumped on with record breaking snow in December. Then the new year hit and we were in a deep freeze throughout January and into February. It was so cold most of the time that when we did finally hit 25 degrees, I actually contemplated whether or not I needed a coat. Pretty sad. We are so cooped up in our houses, that it is so refreshing to be able to go into the fresh air and not freeze to the ground. This winter I have found myself in a constant state of shiver and I hate it.
Why live here then??? Good question. I guess because I grew up in the Midwest and my family is all around here, the kids are in wonderful schools and other than the freezing temps, I do love it. Great people, beautiful area and Walt Disney World is always just a short plane ride away. :-)
Well...off to see what J and K are fighting about.
The peacefulness never lasts long.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Gotta start somewhere
And away we go...
I have been waiting for some inspiration to hit me. That sudden realization that "yes...this is it... this is what I am going to write about." But that inspiration never came. It never hit me. It may never hit me. So I just came to the conclusion that I just have to jump in and try to swim. So ....here I go.
I grew up, the youngest of 4 kids. I was the youngest by almost 10 years. I think I grew up more as an only child. I had siblings. I knew that they were there. We were so far apart in years that I felt as if we didn't have much in common.... maybe our only connection was our parents and home. I didn't feel as though I was missing out because I never knew the connection that can come from having a close relationship with a sister or brother. Luckily, I now know that close relationship with each of them.
What I did have though, was parents who yelled. Our parents yelled a lot. I remember their fights, mom mostly doing the yelling and dad slamming doors. Me...just wanting to hide and stay hidden. Dr. Phil often says that parents who fight in front of their kids, change who their kids are. I must agree. I grew up very insecure, with little confidence. My sisters and brother said that mom and dad's yelling was a lot worse earlier in their marriage. I don't know if it was or wasn't. But I do know that at least they had each other during the fights. I was left by myself.
One lasting thing I do remember, that I think is a direct result of the fighting, is that I was well into my college years before I realized that I could have my own opinion.... mine and only mine. I didn't have to agree with the folks. I didn't have to agree with anyone. If I thought a certain way about a certain thing....that was ok. It was ok for me to have my own opinion. Taking until my early 20's to realize that can't be normal. I was afraid to state my opinion because I was afraid to be wrong. I was afraid to be thought of as dumb or too bold or not nice. What if someone didn't like my thoughts and confronted me.
Slowly, I have gotten past that. It's amazing what time and life experiences can do. Do I look back with regrets or resentment? No. I do know that my parents loved me. I know that they did the best that they could. I also know that I'm a big girl now and accountable for my actions. I try to live with no regrets.
I have been waiting for some inspiration to hit me. That sudden realization that "yes...this is it... this is what I am going to write about." But that inspiration never came. It never hit me. It may never hit me. So I just came to the conclusion that I just have to jump in and try to swim. So ....here I go.
I grew up, the youngest of 4 kids. I was the youngest by almost 10 years. I think I grew up more as an only child. I had siblings. I knew that they were there. We were so far apart in years that I felt as if we didn't have much in common.... maybe our only connection was our parents and home. I didn't feel as though I was missing out because I never knew the connection that can come from having a close relationship with a sister or brother. Luckily, I now know that close relationship with each of them.
What I did have though, was parents who yelled. Our parents yelled a lot. I remember their fights, mom mostly doing the yelling and dad slamming doors. Me...just wanting to hide and stay hidden. Dr. Phil often says that parents who fight in front of their kids, change who their kids are. I must agree. I grew up very insecure, with little confidence. My sisters and brother said that mom and dad's yelling was a lot worse earlier in their marriage. I don't know if it was or wasn't. But I do know that at least they had each other during the fights. I was left by myself.
One lasting thing I do remember, that I think is a direct result of the fighting, is that I was well into my college years before I realized that I could have my own opinion.... mine and only mine. I didn't have to agree with the folks. I didn't have to agree with anyone. If I thought a certain way about a certain thing....that was ok. It was ok for me to have my own opinion. Taking until my early 20's to realize that can't be normal. I was afraid to state my opinion because I was afraid to be wrong. I was afraid to be thought of as dumb or too bold or not nice. What if someone didn't like my thoughts and confronted me.
Slowly, I have gotten past that. It's amazing what time and life experiences can do. Do I look back with regrets or resentment? No. I do know that my parents loved me. I know that they did the best that they could. I also know that I'm a big girl now and accountable for my actions. I try to live with no regrets.
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